ME and FILM

Just finishing up a long day promoting the last film, SECOND COMING. At this point I have to go back to THE SACRED, the new film...

What a pain in the behind my friends....

I am humbled by the experience of making a film. Years ago, when I was riding high as a DP, I always made fun and looked down at producers and sometimes at Directors. "they don't know what they are doing...", "Oh, this is amateur hour"...I used to say.

I really didn't know how hard it was for those people to get to that moment where I was, to get the machine started, to get the funding, to pre-produce it, to carry the project to the very end.

I, as the cameraman, shot the thing and left at the end of the day with a fat paycheck....I didn't know about the sacrifice these people, these crazy people had to do. Well now I know. Now that I have decided to create films myself, now I know how insane but in the end extremely amazing making films is.

And it doesn't end with the year long battle of getting it finished, its just the beginning, its just phase ONE.

Then you have the DELIVERABLES..., the dreaded deliverables, the place that most filmmakers forget to think about during budget time, the place where you will bleed most of your budget sometimes.

This involves the master of the film, both in 16x9 and 4x3, trailers also in various formats, sound mix in various formats, all of it, Also each element has to go through a lab where they do a "quality control" check or QC. Each QC is like $700 and the almost 15 to 25 elements you have to turn in have to have a QC...

If you don't do this, you don't get distributed..., then you have the insurance (what they call E&O insurance), which is like $10,000. But wait...we haven't even dealt with finding a distributor!!!

That takes weeks and lots of cash preparing quality screeners, complete with artwork, dealing with bull shit from people who want your film and want to screw you at the same time...

I realize I am not gay ( not that there is anything wrong with that), because I have been screwed in my behind so many times and I still get no pleasure out of it!

In short, its a pain in the culo.

All of it so in the end some punk ass kid with a website, no clue about filmmaking, no history (for most of these creatures anything before 1995 is old and boring), and no university degree, calling himself a CRITIC reviews your film and sometimes you get lucky and you get a good review, sometimes not.

BUT in the end, its the audience. We filmmakers, just like most artists, want to be loved, and want to leave something behind.

I enjoy the process, I love filmmaking like my first love, Music. I cannot imagine doing anything else.

I've sacrificed love, relationships, friendships, so much...for this, this crazy thing, this insane dream, and you know what?...I don't care, I LOVE IT. I realize I am lucky to know what I want...so many of us don't know this, so I am blessed. And I am lucky to have realized my dream of shooting with the best (sometimes with the worst). I dreamed it as a kid and I went out and freaking did it.

Creating an image, seeing an actor take one of your lines to amazing places, creating something out of nothing will always be a blessing, a privilege and the most kick ass thing I've ever done.